A Few Wise Quotes

Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you
are a conqueror. Kill everyone and you are a God.
--Jean Rostand-

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't under-
stand that bother me, it's the parts that I do
understand.
--Mark Twain--

So far as I can remember, there is not one word
in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
--Bertrand Russell--

Scriptures....The sacred books of our holy religion,
as distinguished from the false and profane writings
on which all other faiths are based.
--Ambrose Bierce--

The inspiration of the Bible depends on the ignorance
of the person who reads it.
--Robert G. Ingersoll--

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they
are an even bigger pain the second time around.
--Herb Caen--

Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his
martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?
--Jules Feiffer--

If Christ were here now there is one thing he
would not be -- A Christian.
--Mark Twain--

Organized Christianity has probably done more to
retard the ideals that were its founder's than
any other agency in the world.
--Richard LeGallienne--

Of learned men, the clergy show the lowest development
of professional ethics. Any pastor is free to steal
customers from the divines of rival sects, and to
denounce the divines themselves as theological quacks.
--H. L. Mencken--

A clergyman is one who feels himself called upon to
live without working at the expense of the rascals
who work to live. --Voltaire--

Faith.....Belief without evidence in what is told by
one who speaks without knowledge, of things
without parallel. --Ambrose Bierce--

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
--H. L. Mencken--

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows
that faith does not prove anything.
--Nietzsche--

The most common of all follies is to believe passionately
in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of
mankind. --H. L. Mencken--

More Proof That Smoking Is Bad For You

A LAWYER who videoed himself smoking cigarettes made with pages from the Bible and the Koran expects to lose his job at a Queensland university.

In a YouTube video titled ''Bible or Koran - which burns best?'' Queensland University of Technology staff member Alex Stewart compares cigarettes made with pages from the two texts. The atheist says in the clip that burning religious books is no big deal and people need to get over it.

But the Queensland University of Technology is not impressed and has demanded an explanation.

Mr Stewart, an assistant organiser with a group called Brisbane Atheists, was not at home yesterday but in a message on the group's website said he expected to be sacked. ''I'm screwed. I think I will lose my job over this. Damn it.''

The president of the Islamic Association of Australia, Sheikh Muhammad Wahid, said Mr Stewart's actions were hurtful to Muslims.

In the clip, Mr Stewart gave the Bible a seven out of 10 for its burning qualities, and said the Koran left him feeling sick.

Where Will Conan Go?

Some Recent Humor

On Fox News, Ann Coulter said she's against body scans at the airport because terrorists will still be able to hide explosives in their anus. So finally Ann Coulter is speaking on a topic she knows something about.

Jay Leno, January 6, 2010


Rush Limbaugh was released from a hospital in Hawaii two days after suffering from chest pains. He's fine. Doctors say they don't know what caused it, but it may have something to do with being an overweight man whose job is being enraged.

Jimmy Fallon, January 4, 2010

Yesterday, President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station, calling himself 'Barry from D.C.' Then, just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn Beck's radio show as 'B. Hussein from Kenya.'

Conan O'Brien, December 23, 2009

Dick Cheney has been named “Conservative of the Year” by Human Events magazine. I think this is the first time “Dick Cheney” and “human” have been used in the same sentence.

David Letterman, December 22, 2009

The design for George W. Bush's presidential library was unveiled Wednesday in Dallas, and features a lantern-shaped roof that will glow at night. Mr. President, I don't want to make any more jokes about you being dumb, but you have to meet me halfway. Don't build a library where the lights are on when no one is home.

Steh Meyers, SNL Weekend Update, Nov. 21, 2009

A Strange Interlude

My favorite craigslist ad ever!

This link was corrupted... if I can find the original content again I will re-instate the link.

Here is the craigslist post I tried (unsuccessfully) to link to earlier. I hope it is readable coz it is laugh out loud funny.

Laugh Out Loud Funny

Just a quick post today to share with you all a blog that I've been enjoying lately.

It is called Overheard in New York, and it contains laugh out loud funny snippets of conversations overheardon the streets of New York City.

Give it a read when you get some time and let me know if you enjoyed it as much as I did... you're all the Grinch!

Sock and Awe

Betcha thought I wasn't going to comment on the shoe-throwing incident? Well, I wasn't until I saw this great web game where you can hurl shoes at W.

It is called "Sock and Awe" - and if you know me, I just cannot resist a good pun!

Will You Scratch My Nuts?

Bill Maher on Larry King Live: On Religulous and More

A Christian MP3 Player?

Have you seen this MP3 player yet?

I'd like to get a hold of one of these puppies and fill it up with Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Slayer, Iron Maiden and Morbid Angel tunes... and then leave it in a church... with a note that said something like "To the person who finds this, it is your lucky day! Enjoy the music on this special MP3 player!"

It'd be fun to follow the person who finds it and watch their crazy little head explode as they listened to "Satanic" heavy metal on a cross-shaped MP3 player...

Why Mommy and Daddy are Democrats

Here are some sample pages from the children's books Why Mommy is a Democrat and Why Daddy is a Democrat. I enjoyed them so I thought I'd share...


Nice imagery here... the only thing missing is the WTC towers!

This one was especially nice because those little Democratic squirrels are being protected by Mama squirrel from that hideous lumbering Republican elephant...

It is unfortunate that the Earth looks like a nerd when it feels better.

What do you think? Are these fun or what?

More Religious Stupidity with Corpses

Two children and their mother are said to have lived for about two months with the decaying body of a 90-year-old woman on the toilet of their home's only bathroom.

Wisconsin authorities say a religious "superior" had claimed the corpse would come back to life.
The children, ages 15 and 12, cried hysterically Wednesday after a deputy who came to the Necedah, Wis., home looking for the woman, Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth, ordered them out because of the stench from the body.

According to the criminal complaint, Middlesworth's sister called sheriff's officials Wednesday and asked them to go to the home about 80 miles north of Madison to check on the woman, who had not been heard from for some time.

The children are in foster care. Their mother, Tammy Lewis, and self-described "bishop" Alan Bushey remain in custody on felony counts of being a party to causing mental harm to a child.
Lewis told a deputy that Middlesworth, who one of the children referred to as "grandmother" in the criminal complaint, had appeared to pass out as Lewis helped her into her underwear.
She said she propped Middlesworth on the toilet and left the room to call Bushey, who told her to leave the woman alone and pray for her, the complaint said. He said he had received signs that God would raise her from the dead with a miracle.

Lewis went on to say she thought Middlesworth was still breathing when she put her on the toilet and called Bushey, instead of an ambulance. She later told a detective she put the woman on the toilet on March 4.

An autopsy has been performed, but results won't be available for some time, Juneau County Sheriff Brent Oleson said.

To me, the most amazing part of this story is that the house had only one bathroom. Where do you suppose these idiots defecated since March 4th?

Gassy Preacher

Do not watch this unless you enjoy infantile, potty humor.

On Creationism vs. Intelligent Design

Respect

Ten Hairs Away From Being a Baboon

Yahweh vs. Popeye

Yahweh: I am that I am - Exodus 3:14

Popeye: I am what I am and that's all that I am.




This round goes to Popeye for his humility...

Speaking of Name Calling...

There were some comments here about the Ayatollah Huckabee reference (that name is courtesy of Juan Cole over at Informed Comment), but what about that whiney, no-talent Chris Matthews calling Hillary Clinton a "witchy" "strip-teaser" "she-devil" with a voice like "fingernails on a chalkboard"?

Welcome Back Jon Stewart!

In case you did not notice, Jon Stewart is back on the air; so is Stephen Colbert. Both shows had been off the air because of the writer's strike, and I missed them both. Stewart is now calling his show "A Daily Show" instead of "The Daily Show," because he says that "The" Daily Show is the one put on with his full staff of writers.

It was on Stewart's show that I finally got to see the video of Hillary supposedly breaking down in tears. In reality, her voice cracked a little and she was more emotional as she spoke than usual. But she did not cry; she came nowhere near crying. I'm ashamed of myself for "believing" that she did.

And Hillary Clinton won the New Hampshire primary, even as the pundits had all but coronated Barack Obama as the winner. I still support Hillary Clinton and hope she is the Democratic nominee. I think she'll make a fantastic president.

Oh, and McCain won in New Hampshire, too. I wouldn't be surprised if that re-energizes ol' Yosemite's campaign and he becomes the eventual Republican nominee because, let's face it, he is probably the best of a very sorry lot... but that ain't saying much.

The End of Faith

Anybody remember Graham Parker? He was (actually, is) a great singer-songwriter of caustic pop who was (semi) popular during the late 70's thru the mid 80's. I've been a fan of his for years and yes, he is still at it. I mention it here because I ran across a site promoting his latest single (MP3) titled The End of Faith. Click over and check it out.

At the same time I also ran across something so surreal that I had to share it:

Shock the Monkey by Don Ho

Yes, you read that correctly... and it isn't too bad, actually.