Hey, have you seen the Gullible Christian Web Site? Oh, wait, that's not its real name. It is called You've Been Left Behind. I wonder how many customers these jackasses have? They sell the gullible, err, I mean christians, a service that will auto-email their unsaved relatives after the Rapture! And for only $40, what a bargain!
Hey, tell ya what. Send me $20 and I'll make sure the e-mails get out after you are raptured. I mean, I'm sure I'll be here, and those holy fuckers running You've Been Left Behind will probably be raptured, too, right? So what if their servers fail? You, up there with your god, and no one to tend to your e-mail! How horrible... give your money to an atheist who is sure to be here to handle your important post-rapture messages... that's the only way it'll work!