Friday, January 15, 2010

Satan Writes In...

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher.

The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake.

Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best,
Satan

(From Minneapolis - St. Paul Star Tribune)

7 comments:

BAWDYSCOT said...

What I find amazing is that anyone would care at all about what Pat Robertson has to say about anything. Except, maybe, those who have a financial stake in the man.

Mike aka Dragonfly said...

Satan writing the St. Paul Star Tribune (ironic) will not help their circulation.

csm said...

LOL

BAWDYSCOT said...

In MA the score is Dems - 0, Reps - 1, Ind - 35.

Mike aka Dragonfly said...

I thought csm might have something up on this debacle by now. I was not greatly surprised by MA since the DNC has allowed the socialist aspect of our party to gain control. The GOP has the same issue in their party with competing factions clamoring for power and we see where that has led them.
For the moderate faction of the DNC this loss is a positive. I know how that sounds but in order to put control back in the hands of the true progressives a resounding defeat in all places MA will lead to the loss of power to those currently in control. It’s a good thing for the nation and in the long run for the DNC. The Big O campaigned as one animal but governed as a socialist and it has come back to bite him and the party.

csm said...

I wasn't all that surprised by the Massachusetts election. I'm not even really all that disappointed. It will be interesting to see how the Dems in Congress react. My guess is as the spineless little shits that they all are. It probably kills the healthcare reform bills, too. I'm guessing we'll see House Dems back away and a filibuster in the Senate.

BAWDYSCOT said...

In my humble opinion, I believe the Supreme Court got it wrong today. I don't believe corporations have any rights according to the Constitution. I believe they(Bill of Rights)were individual rights and that they cannot be confered to corporations. I was holding out hope this decision would start putting a wedge between corporations and the federal government, but alas the Court didn't see it this way.